The Bar Story
by Quig Alchemist
Summary: One ShotFUNNY! Plants get drunk! XD Based after Knives is left alone in the anime and everthing is always same old same old. Vash decides it's time for a change and takes his brother out to a bar, and...they get drunk. Duh. What else do they have to do?


The Bar Story

Knives glared irritably at his overly used maroon bedspread that was covering his body, and cursed humans under his breath. This was his daily routine that hadn't been broken yet. He had an agitated scowl set on his face, probably from sitting too long in bed. He hadn't moved in awhile either, refraining from speaking to anyone. His sour mood ceased to improve when a large brunette with sparkling blue eyes bounded into the room without knocking. It wasn't as if he was going to answer the door anyway.

"Hello Mr. Knives! How are you today?" She had a blindingly bright smile that made his squint in annoyance. She set down a dinner tray next to his bed cheerfully, just as she did everyday. And just like everyday, Knives would ignore her. Same old, same old. Nothing out of the ordinary had happened in months. "I hope you're hungry! Meryl made you a special meal!" He grumbled, glowering at the opposite wall. He knew she would leave after Knives refused to respond, just like she always had.

And once again, he was right. Millie left, her face revealing disappointment as the door clicked behind her. Now she would leave him alone so he could think. Humans were so predictable.

Several worried voices conversed outside his door and Knives listened, half-interested and only caught every other word or so. She spoke to her yappy and obnoxious shorter friend, and he gathered that the big girl was worried about his health and the fact that Knives wouldn't eat. He smirked defiantly. _They couldn't make me do anything if they tried…_He began to chuckle under his breath when another person entered the room without warning.

"You have to eat something Knives." His brother closed the door gently behind him and buried his hands deep within his pockets. Vash's voice was plain, with not a trace of anger. His eyes were locked on the floor, leaving Knives to respond.

_Why do you associate with them? They're all filthy humans! _The bitter man sneered with an icy glare at his sibling. The two spoke through their minds, with a gift few possessed.

_Why don't you?_ Vash shot back, countering Knives' question. He looked up for the first time, seeing his brother cross his arms in a huff. He slit his sharp cobalt eyes as if he could slice Vash into little pieces, using he pupils as daggers. But nonetheless he remained silent. _How bout we go out? _

Knives blinked in confusion, wordlessly mouthing in disbelief. Out? Him? What was this madness? Vash never did _this _before! This was something completely unexpected…and it was only the beginning.

_You're too isolated in here anyway. _Vash continued with a quirky smile. _You need to get out and smell the fresh air! Who knows, maybe with more humans around, you'll learn to love them! _

Knives' jaw actually dropped and hung open uselessly. The look he gave his brother was clearly shouting 'You can't be serious!'

"I simply will _not_ tolerate being in the same room with a bunch of lousy, overly intoxicated humans!" Knives screeched as Vash forcefully showed him the way through the front door of a local bar. The repulsed man dug his heels into the ground and clawed at the doorframe with gritted teeth.

"It's not that bad." Vash reassured him with a clap on his twin's shoulder. "You have got to loosen up!" He laughed as Knives grudgingly entered the bar with a look of disgust set on his face.

Many different types of people sat around, most of which were lonely, hopeless drunks. The siblings selected two high stools at the dimly lit bar, as the dusty light swinging overhead cast shadows over their and other even more mysterious characters.

"What'll it be boys?"

"Two of the best and strongest you got." Was Vash's simple reply. The bartender nodded and turned away to tend to other customers. The spikey blonde man grinned, enjoying the pricelessness of Knives' blank and completely dumbfounded expression. In a moment, the bartender returned and set two glasses down on the bar with a slight clink.

Vash immediately picked up his glass, silently toasting to Rem before taking a drink. It was his normal way of honoring her with a shot of whiskey without feeling guilty. Well, at least not _as _guilty.

Knives could only stare down at the vile substance as if at the next moment it would jump out and bite him. His brother grinned after he downed a third of his drink and set his glass on the bar. A slight buzz still tingled on his lips as he sensed his sibling's discomfort and confusion. It was only natural that Vash would instruct him on the ways of drinking even if he was under the influence of _very _strong alcohol.

"Drink up idiot."

"This slime? I think I'd rather die."

"Exactly." Knives rolled his eyes to Vash's logic. The man took another gulp of his drink, as the chattering of two girls behind them soon distracted Knives. He looked blandly in their direction and the girls quickly hid their faces, giggling.

"Pfft. Stupid humans…" Knives muttered crossly, turning his attention back to the tan colored liquid before him. He scowled at the glass again and mumbled, "You again?" under his breath. A sharp pain from a well-placed elbow stung his ribcage.

"What are you doing? That's a _good _thing, stupid. I hardly ever see anyone _that _cute come in here. At the very least, wave." Knives rubbed his side angrily as Vash whipped around flashing a big, bright smile, waving to the two girls. They absolutely lost it in a fit of giggles again.

"Why? I don't want humans fawning over me!" Knives exclaimed in a harsh whisper. He glared at the deep stained wooden bar top, already sick of being out in public.

"There's one for each of us…"

"Remind me again, why do I care?" Knives retorted sarcastically. The two men appeared to be bickering in loud whispers, almost attracting the unwanted attention.

"Well, because you just might get _lucky _if you know what I mean…"

"What?!" he shouted, springing to his feet. Vash smiled deviously and winked at the girls, as Knives mouth hung open in shock.

"Oh nothing…Sit down. Everyone's looking." The Humanoid Typhoon put the glass to his lips again, taking another deep swig.

"Why did you bring me here again?" The man asked, sitting down at the bar once again. He drummed his bony fingers over the bar's stained surface irritably.

"At least take a little sip."

"Fine. If it makes of leave sooner, whatever." Knives hesitantly picked up his glass, his face displaying his sheer disgust for the idea. He raised it to his lips and let the liquid trickle down his throat.

"Good?"

Knives coughed as if he'd been poisoned.

"You call this _good_? Are you serious?" Vash laughed at his twin's first reaction to the drink, patting his back.

"You'll learn." They both sipped on, reordering from time to time, drowning themselves in the numbing alcohol. They were both sharing a drink they called bitter loneliness, but it was better drinking all alone after all.

However many refills were ordered was unknown after a couple hours in that dank saloon. Either way, both the brothers were beyond slobbering drunk.

Knives attempted clambering off his stool, but planted his face squarely in the floorboards instead. His head spun viciously as he had previously built up zero tolerance for the drink.

Vash, on the other hand, could walk fairly strait, but his brain had lost complete control of everything that his mouth was saying. He had made several slurred passes on the girls, but to no avail, feeling the red hand print that was visible on his right cheek. He instead, stooped down, disheartened, and helped his woozy brother off the floor. The pale man's eyes flickered dizzily and his legs wobbled beneath him uncertainly. He was feeling sicker than he had in his entire life.

"Knives?"

"Uh?"

"Let's go home. My job here is done."

"Uh." Vash dragged his elder sibling across the floor and out into the cool, refreshing nighttime air. The bar had been stuffy and choked with smoke. Just walking outside made the two feel tons better.

When they arrived at the house, Vash helped Knives into his bedroom and laid him down. He turned to leave his brother for sleep, but then he stopped, his head still swirling as he spoke.

"Hey Knives."

"Wha…?"

"That was fun, let's do it again sometime."

"Uh." Vash opened the door, satisfied by the response.

"Oh, and one other thing: You're going to have a killer headache in the morning. Sleep well!" Vash waltzed out of the room, tripping over an imaginary obstacle and flicking off the lights as he left.

Knives lay in his bed in similar position as he was a few hours before, but despite the massive headache he could feel crawling in his mind and the sick feeling from drinking, he somehow felt…_better_.

As he drifted off into sleep, battling his stomach in a war to not throw up, he could hear his twin getting chewed out by the two insurance girls. A consistent slapping sound was also audible, accompanied by small pained cries, probably meaning Vash was getting beaten up as well. They were no doubt miffed at the gunman for dragging his maniac brother out in public, especially a to a _bar _of all places.

Knives smiled a smile that was, for the first time in as long as he could remember, not related to the annihilation of all humans. The action of it actually surprised him. _Maybe these humans, _he mused, continuing his small smile, _aren't so terrible after all. _

The End


End file.
